Fundraising is like dating - waiting by the phone, the computer, (The) Facebook, click. refresh. click. refresh. Waiting for an answer from someone willing to give you a chance. Bracing yourself for rejection, your stomach doing the dance. Movements that nobody understands, because nobody's in your pants, your shoes, your bottle of booze. Your snooze. Button. On days that you wake up with lines in your head, from that pillow on the bed, because you never went to sleep. But dreamt that you did. Or was that the dream where you dreamt that you did. When instead, all you did was close your eyes. And let your mind run wild. Because your model isn't proven in the market yet. (Innovation doesn't pay taxes, I guess). Because contracts aren't zipped tight. (That's what she said.) Because your fucking term sheet is non-existent and your valuation is ripped way too high. (Thanks to every bullshit Angel who told you your startup was worth somewhere between a million and five. Who fed me that line?) Oh, was that you? You in your suit? You in your dapper hair, and thousand dollar boots? Look what you made me do. If I didn't beg you through words, you saw it in my eyes. If I didn't shield you from my eyes, did you get to see me cry?

It's all in a minute as an entrepreneur. Someone who takes their inner workings and turns them inside out. For the world to see. And the world to be, a little bit jealous of the life I live. Well, at least I'm almost pretty sure that's it.

to mull


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June is a tiny bit of a hot mess.

I forgive you, June.
Came across this Quora answer, written by Paul DeJoe, on his description of what it's like to be CEO of a startup. You can read the full post here, but in case you don't have a Quora account, here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

Very tough to sleep most nights of the week.  Weekends don't mean anything to you anymore.  Closing a round of financing is not a relief.  It means more people are depending on you to turn their investment into 20 times what they gave you.  

You start to respect the Duck.  Paddle like hell under the water and be smooth and calm on top where everyone can see you. 

You start to see that the word "entrepreneur" is a personality.  It's difficult to talk to your friends that are not risking the same things you are because they are content with not pushing themselves or putting it all out there in the public with the likelihood of failure staring at you everyday.  You start to turn a lot of your conversations with relatives into how they might exploit opportunities for profit.  

You feel like a parent to your customers in that they will never realize how much you love them and it is they who validate you are not crazy. You want to hug every one of them. They mean the World to you. 

Of all the things said though, it's exciting.  Every day is different and so exciting.  Even when it's bad it's exciting.

*Paul is CEO at Ecquire and Entrepreneur in Residence at Fairbridge Venture Partners, CRM implementation consultant and Steve Winwood enthusiast.
Milly Xu
This is my request instead:

Please make a donation to Live Wright Society a nonprofit founded by my mother, Milly, one of the most courageous, loving, resilient women in the world. 

Live Wright uses music, art and film to Pay It Forward and raise awareness for Multiple Sclerosis, Crohn's/Colitis, Aging out of Foster Care, Organ Transplant, Lou Gehrig's Disease, and Music Brings. 

Wouldn't it be nice if together, we raised $1000 today? Then I could say I had a GREAT birthday :) 

To donate: 
1. Visit Pay It Forward on Eventbrite
2. Enter the amount you'd like to donate under the ticket "$1K IN ONE DAY" and press Order


I was just slicing watermelon in the kitchen, when a large drop of watermelon juice rolled off the cutting board, and took a dive off the edge of the marble counter, landing with a cool, voluptuous splash across my right foot. 

In that instant, all past summer moments of dipping my big toe into the ocean, the pool, the lake before jumping in, came rushing up from my foot, through my muscles, in between my shoulder blades, finally wrapping my temples in a gentle cloud of fresh mist. And I felt the calming rush of relaxation and bliss that only the carefree days of June through August can inspire. 

Who knew feet could be so nostalgic? 

As an actor and producer of 35, the first scripted web series to stream live on the Internet, Kathryn Jones is reinventing the concept of "theater techie." No longer is it only about shadowed souls clad in head-to-toe black, frantically whispering into headsets, trying to perfect the lighting on Juliet's face as she waxes poetic about her happy dagger right before plunging the rusty tool into her broken heart. No - because of Miss Jones and her crew, theater techies now perform a much more visible bow at curtain call. In fact - curtain call has taken the form of rolling credits behind the glow of our computer screens, and the theater techie, now clad with multiple cameras and vigilant live-editing skills, has risen, lens first, into the limelight.

Founded by three women, Better Left Unsaid is a cross between a play, an online video and a live-streamed event - and with already six performances under their belt, Jones (producer) has already broken cross-industry ground by merging theater, technology and social media.

Written by Joey Brennaman, the play follows eight lives as their secrets are revealed, ultimately asking the question "How well do you know the people you love?" Performed in front of a live audience in Manhattan, the production is shot with multiple cameras, mixed in real time, and streamed live so that anyone anywhere in the world can watch, and interact during the show and via the post-show discussions 'What You Said.'

Don't leave Better Left Unsaid unsaid! SPREAD the word. And WATCH their second round of live performances, starting THIS Friday, in your pajamas at home or with armloads of flowers and applause at Center Stage in Flatiron District (48 West 21st Street, 4th Floor, between 5th and 6th Ave., Subway: F or N/R to 23rd).

Theater and online performance times:

Friday, Feb 4 – 8pm EST

Saturday, Feb 5 – 8pm EST

Sunday, Feb 6 – 3pm EST (optimized for European audiences respectively - 9PM GMT )

Sunday, Feb 6 – 7pm EST 
Theater tickets are $18 while interactive online viewing tickets are a suggested donation of $2-$18.

For more information and tickets, visit

According to the Chinese Zodiac, this is the Year of the Rabbit, the luckiest sign on the calendar. Last year belonged to the Tiger, a year of power. My mom tells me that 2011 will be all about Speed. So, hurry up. Quit stalling. Start acting. Because if you're not fast enough, the rabbit is going to fly right past you into 2012. 
Someone needs to invent a spray that enhances the smell of my food. 

Because my nose isn't getting enough action, and my taste buds are hogging all the fun. And the end result is that my brain is screwed out of fully appreciating delicious meals.

So if you happen to see me out at a restaurant, face planted in my food - don't laugh. Put your face in your food too, steal a giant whiff, and take comfort in knowing that together, we are slowly redistributing the wealth to our senses, one olfactory receptor at a time.